Musical, Musical, Musical…
January 23, 2017
Poem: Fuel the Fire
February 21, 2017

Stress…Who wants that?


We honestly can say that none of us wants to stress. There’s everyday stress that comes with the territory of life and some that’s just plain unnecessary. There’s stress that has been building over time or stress related habits that we do, but don’t know that we are the causation of the stress in our own lives.

I hear it often, I don’t want to stress about this…or that. Why do things have to be so complicated? When will it all align itself accordingly?

I want to share with you my strategies of how I daily dive in to overcome stress. First, I want to share with you a personal story. About how I am just as humanly flawed and have had stress even back in younger days. In that time, the stress was more in a need of affirmation and acceptance that carried over into young adulthood. It’s what I believe many still struggle with because, it has a way of manifesting itself into social and communication relations.

Beyond writing, one of my biggest creative passions is singing. I do it all the time, music plays in my head all day. I sing when cooking, in the shower, you name it. In my head, I was a musical genius since age 11, writing my own songs. Watch out now! LOL.

However, I’m going to be even more honest with you, I wasn’t as confident as I was in my head. I didn’t know how I sounded to others, I counted myself out a lot. Growing up I had talent, but looked for others to be the encouragement to do it. If I was good enough family would be eagerly trying to put me in auditions and such. They didn’t, therefore I must not have been.  To this day, I regret not pushing myself. In truth, it was my lack of confidence in that area as an adolescent. Not having the people, I wanted to tell me that I was good do so.

Why did I care so much about what they thought? Why did I need affirmation to do what was naturally gifted for me to do? Why do their words have weight? In all honesty, it took a while to overcome that. It’s still a continued learning practice. I can attest that you do overcome, as you mature and evolve.

Glad that I have overcome the bulk. It tries to revisit every now and again.  Look, let’s be honest, we all go through this at one time or another. We let it consume us with worry, the fear of what someone else is going to say. Congratulations! That makes us human.

However, there are some harmful side effects of stress. It is a condition not to be played with, and must be controlled to a manageable level before it gets the better of us. Don’t let it get the better of you. Become better in spite of it.

Stress has had an impact on my own health, as it relates to a condition of Asthma. One of my biggest triggers. Even when I don’t think a situation or comment has ignited stress in me, the tell-tale sign is when I start to exhibit symptoms of an asthma attack. Since the age of 20, I have learned a lot about my triggers and how to live with it. There are situations that I know this may be the end result of.  I try to not engage in hostile conversations; leaving a room if necessary that the topic may spark anger; or ending a conversation that could possibly bring the it about.

I know… easier said than done at times. Hey…I said I try. It doesn’t always work, in a perfect world maybe. However, if it does happen,

  • Stop
  • Count in my head
  • Breath deep and try to calm myself from persistent coughing or wheezing. (airflow is reduced and mucus forming, this helps to slow down the attack)
  • Use my inhaler.

This condition hit me later in life than most.  It fueled more of the need to change in the way I handled everyday life stress. In certain facets of my own life, there was stress from people or things necessary in my life. I acknowledged this and put into more practice to not to sweat the small stuff. Change the things that you can change, and understand that somethings are beyond control. Let it go…release it.

Over the years, I have changed that attitude of needing acceptance for things I want to do. I know late in the game. But as a result of this, I am putting myself out there more with writing because I love and believe my words are ones to be written because it can help others and encourage them. To combat the stress of expectations that others have of me, I follow these goals or rules which are like steps now for how I want to live and progress in the future.

The Art of Letting Go– Learning to let go of the things that are out of my control. Situations and people that will not change, not their season to mature and/or are not on the same level of where I am right now, and where I am going.

Focus on you– Learn that although I am naturally a giver to not give all of me until there is nothing left for myself.

Get to Know You and Your Self-worth– Do things that build self-esteem. Delight in my interest. No matter how uncommon or weird they may be. Don’t get caught in these social and cultural norms that are stereo typically placed and decided by others that your gender, race, or ethnicity does not do those things.

Find the Silver Lining– Just because your past was your past doesn’t mean that your future has to be the same. Also, just because the current may be a struggle at times doesn’t mean it will always be. There is a silver lining in it all. Pay attention to the moments and the lesson that are being spoken verbally or through actions. When you get to your destination you’ll understand why it was important to have worked that hard. It builds character to earn and learn your way. You may fall and fail to succeed but it’s the attempts and bumps along the road that make the greatest stories more interesting.

Be the Change I Want to See– This is important, many times we want something but don’t realize how we are not doing this ourselves. The action that one individual sets out can be a ripple effect. A group influence may strike in a ban to do better and promote positive change may arise. For example, we want someone to be more compassionate or have humility. Maybe showing them with your actions can change the cold-hearted person you feel they are.

 In our communities, we complain that more needs to be done, but we are not willing to individually do more. It’s important to me and to show my children that I try. As one person to make it better for them to live safe, have opportunities, expand their horizons and educate how to open doors that will make them successful. Every day I just try to walk the path of being humble. Try to help if I can, and hope and pray for situations that I don’t have the means to change. For we all are all fearfully and wonderfully made.





Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

%d bloggers like this: