The Trip Requires You To- Have Patience
The Trip Requires You To: Have Patience
November 8, 2017
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The Trip Requires You To: Master the Art of Letting Go

The Trip Requires You to_ Master the Art of Letting Go

The Trip Requires You to_ Master the Art of Letting Go

“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.”
― Ann Landers

 The assessment of letting go

Letting go can be one of those choices that’s difficult to decide. Our hearts are into that someone or something. We fear failure or guilt and hold on sometimes longer than what we should because of pride. However, letting go can be freeing and relieving from a relationship with that someone or something. Regardless of whether they were negative or toxic person in relationship, the death or passing of a loved one, a business relationship or arrangement that is not following the vision intended etc. It can be the act that moves you forward into a direction that allows more doors to open and opportunity.

It may not be evident in the immediate moments, in fact it may be hard to endure. Being without or beginning to second guess your decision. As psychologist Daniel Gilbert describes in his book, Stumbling on Happiness, “Negative events do affect us”. Furthermore, he describes that the duration is not as long as we assume and in the hotness of that situation it can be the only thing that appears to have importance.

But don’t let that deter you, change your mind or go against your first instinct. Don’t let that overshadow the analysis you’ve made by observations in the actions or how that relationship affected the value you hold of the important things in your personal or work life/balance. Don’t let that temporary emotion block you from receiving what you want and need. It may just not be the right relationship or arrangement for you. It may be what is needed to lay the memory to rest.

Letting go is necessary: A choice that’s critical and essential:

If it was not adding to the wellbeing of or to progress down the road. Chances are likely that you’ll see that the progress or changes that happened would not have been able to prevail had you still been holding onto that in which hindered, continually hurt, stalled, or did not support onward progress.

In the 2012 article by Tony Schwartz for Harvard Business Review. Tony stated a profound piece that he conveys is the larger point. “Foregoing opportunities may be less a sign of failure than of careful prioritizing and intelligent sacrifice” (Harvard Business Review, 2012)

This resonated with me and how essential it is to the mentality that must be evolved when looking at letting go of something. It may be the end of that relationship, business venture or saying goodbye. However, it’s not to say that you didn’t try or didn’t care. There is a bigger point to this method. The very relationship could go against principles, have you feeling uneasy or uncomfortable, it could have changed you in ways that you don’t want to live anymore. The larger point is that you must be smart and prioritize your goals. You also must more importantly remember to promote self-care.

 

Mastering the art of letting go is not overnight. It’s learned behavior:

The ability to recognize when it is time to let go and when to do so doesn’t happen overnight. I wish. If that was so, it wouldn’t have taken yours truly years to figure it out. How to recognize when there was more take than give in a situation. When the circumstances were beyond repair and how to determine how just manage through my own flip flop of emotions regarding someone or something sometimes. The analysis of whether it wasn’t working because of something critical or essential that was a deal breaker or was it just a superficial want.

When addressing whether to fall back on something or someone you’re pursuing. There’s four questions that you should ask yourself:

  1. Do I have a gut feeling that it won’t work?
  2. How important will this appear in six months?
  3. How important will this appear in two years?
  4. Could the current investment of time and energy be better served?

If you reply that the questions in 2 and 3 don’t lend as much or If you reply that 1 and 4 are a definite yes, then it’s time to cut the cord.

Learning to let go is not easily mastered action there are things help the process.

  • Appreciate that relationship with someone or something – It can be therapeutic and allow you to remember the good of the person or thing for what it did in your life. Not to say that you would or could change the outcome, but you are thankful for what was given.
  • Be emotional when you need to be – There can be times when a memory is triggered or the battle with understanding the how or why is a pill too hard to swallow. It’s OK. In time you will, and those memories will bring a smile and not pain. For it to do so, you must allow yourself to feel and cry if necessary. Grieve for as long as needed. Don’t worry about what others want you to do or if they are uncomfortable. Your soul is healing, and a part of that healing is for you to express your emotions.
  • Focus on you and your needs. Not what they feel you need – Don’t let others tell you what you need to do. Don’t just do something because others told you to. Do what comes naturally to you. Heed what you identify you need. It’s ok to thank someone for their care and support but address if that love and support they give is smothering or makes you feel opposite of what they think they are doing for you.
  • Think about what you will gain- Anytime you decide to let something go there is a positive benefit you see from it. Focus on that, say it to yourself if necessary. Keep it in the forefront of your mind that this feeling is temporary. What you will gain is permanent and better for you.

 

Something for you to view –  Mariah Carey, “The Art of Letting Go”.  A stand out of the lyric was in its first verse:

        I’m making a statement of my own opinion

Just a brief little reminder to help myself remember

I no longer live in your dominion

If you’re interested in watching the video, check it out here.

 

Read or reread previous articles in the series. The Trip Requires You To: Block Out the NoiseThe Trip Requires You To: Have Patience

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