Letting go can be one of those choices that’s difficult to decide. Our hearts are into that someone or something. We fear failure or guilt and hold on sometimes longer than what we should because of pride. However, letting go can be freeing and relieving from a relationship with that someone or something. Regardless of whether they were negative or toxic person in relationship, the death or passing of a loved one, a business relationship or arrangement that is not following the vision intended etc. It can be the act that moves you forward into a direction that allows more doors to open and opportunity.
It may not be evident in the immediate moments, in fact it may be hard to endure. Being without or beginning to second guess your decision. As psychologist Daniel Gilbert describes in his book, Stumbling on Happiness, “Negative events do affect us”. Furthermore, he describes that the duration is not as long as we assume and in the hotness of that situation it can be the only thing that appears to have importance.
But don’t let that deter you, change your mind or go against your first instinct. Don’t let that overshadow the analysis you’ve made by observations in the actions or how that relationship affected the value you hold of the important things in your personal or work life/balance. Don’t let that temporary emotion block you from receiving what you want and need. It may just not be the right relationship or arrangement for you. It may be what is needed to lay the memory to rest.
If it was not adding to the wellbeing of or to progress down the road. Chances are likely that you’ll see that the progress or changes that happened would not have been able to prevail had you still been holding onto that in which hindered, continually hurt, stalled, or did not support onward progress.
In the 2012 article by Tony Schwartz for Harvard Business Review. Tony stated a profound piece that he conveys is the larger point. “Foregoing opportunities may be less a sign of failure than of careful prioritizing and intelligent sacrifice” (Harvard Business Review, 2012)
This resonated with me and how essential it is to the mentality that must be evolved when looking at letting go of something. It may be the end of that relationship, business venture or saying goodbye. However, it’s not to say that you didn’t try or didn’t care. There is a bigger point to this method. The very relationship could go against principles, have you feeling uneasy or uncomfortable, it could have changed you in ways that you don’t want to live anymore. The larger point is that you must be smart and prioritize your goals. You also must more importantly remember to promote self-care.
The ability to recognize when it is time to let go and when to do so doesn’t happen overnight. I wish. If that was so, it wouldn’t have taken yours truly years to figure it out. How to recognize when there was more take than give in a situation. When the circumstances were beyond repair and how to determine how just manage through my own flip flop of emotions regarding someone or something sometimes. The analysis of whether it wasn’t working because of something critical or essential that was a deal breaker or was it just a superficial want.
When addressing whether to fall back on something or someone you’re pursuing. There’s four questions that you should ask yourself:
If you reply that the questions in 2 and 3 don’t lend as much or If you reply that 1 and 4 are a definite yes, then it’s time to cut the cord.
Learning to let go is not easily mastered action there are things help the process.
Something for you to view – Mariah Carey, “The Art of Letting Go”. A stand out of the lyric was in its first verse:
I’m making a statement of my own opinion
Just a brief little reminder to help myself remember
I no longer live in your dominion
If you’re interested in watching the video, check it out here.